Scan #1- Not good

I had my first antenatal appointment arvo both Aaron and I went. didn’t get to see the ob just the midwife who has said I wont be able to have midwife care cause I will be high risk so referred to ob for 2 weeks time about a million miles from home at local hospital.
Referred also to psyche team and continence team ready for any issues in next few months the same as my last pregnancies. The Midwife also ordered a scan due to blood loss and we waited ages to get in and I needed to pee so badly...
Good news is there is a sac
Bad news couldn’t see a yok.

She said could be too early but sac was more than 6 and 5 days so should be able to see a heart beat. So I requested an internal (with tears filling my eyes) and Aaron had no idea what was going on. I felt so alone and scared.

She THINKS she could see a small yok and maybe even some flitter of a possible heart beat but was NOT able to be detected on the u/s as anything beside I small take which showed 90bmp which is actually was what my pulse was.

The yok measured about 5 weeks so she said was too small for HB anyway BUT since sac was so much bigger was not a good outlook. With Jake my sac and yok was 6 weeks and 1 day and had a nice strong heart beat. So I am feeling pretty negative.
She said I need another scan in a week or so and see my GP then.

So I don’t know how to feel am confused and worried. Also pissed off at why there wasn’t more to the scan that I hoped. I kind of hoped if we couldn’t see anything by external the internal would show lots more. Since I have had 2 really early scans before with the other kids I know what to look for and too me compared to there’s was a big sac with nothing in it.

So now I guess I have to wait and see. Spotting is still there but now from the internal I am pretty sure. I feel so alone and lonely… I have so much on this pregnancy. I am angry at Aaron for not knowing what to do! How stupid is that? I don’t want to wait another week- is it fair to be angry that there was not a flickers of heart beat I wanted to see so badly? I don’t want to rant and rave but I know it would be so easy to do and even more so to blame someone, anyone would be fine…

Going to say goodnight eat some dinner and go to bed and cry. I really want this baby to grow and I hope it is just a weird thing that the sac is taking off and the yok is slow. Maybe the baby takes after his daddy and is just lazy!